Dating Rules

(21 April 03)

Since I’ve started trying to meet a man, I’ve begun to understand some rules of dating.   Rule number one: don’t sleep with them on the first date, (people tell me there are exceptions to this rule, but I haven’t found one yet.)  It’s really hard for me to stick to this rule! Rule number two, wear a skirt and make up if you don’t want to be invisible.  This rule really irritates me!  Rule number three: you need to have long hair.  I have started growing my hair out a little.  Recently at a party, a group of women admired my “courage” to wear my hair short and said they didn’t dare.  The men around all protested strongly against short hair.

(2 October 03)

There have been a lot of coincidences with my internet dates lately.  I met several men who’ve recently made major career moves, a business man who’s become a writer and an actor, an engineer who’s become an actor, an engineer who’s become a writer, inspired by Perec, and a business man who’s writing a book inspired by Perec.  They’re all interesting people perhaps, but still no one has really interested me since Peter Pan.  Oh Wendy!  I met three men in a row who didn’t drink or smoke: each of them explained that they preferred to master the situation or master themselves.  Yikes!  That they didn’t drink or smoke should’ve pleased me since I mustn’t drink and would like to quit smoking, but the last thing I want to do is hook up with a control freak, since I was married to one for years.  Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

(17 October 03)

When I first went on the site, I didn’t have any photos that weren’t way out of date.  My mailbox filled with so many responses anyway that I was afraid that if I put my photo up, answering the messages could become a full-time job.  Although it occurred to me that that problem could be outweighed by putting up a current photo so that all the men who found I wasn’t the Woman for them could zap me.  During summer vacation, at a wedding, a photographer took a full-length picture of me dressed as a bridesmaid that was pretty and much more recent than anything else I had, so I put it up.  Men wrote back asking if I was the bride!  Imagine putting a bridal photo up on an online dating site!  I need to find someone who can make a current portrait of myself.  When men see my photo I often get no response.  So I’ve started writing back to ask if they’d received the photo, and in some cases they claimed they hadn’t, but most still didn’t respond.  So I started asking them to please have the courtesy of telling me if I didn’t correspond to what they were looking for, but even then they didn’t respond.  Being attractive to someone is subjective, I know, but when you get no answer at all, it’s still a downer. 

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